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Original Message -----
From: dad
To: son; daughter
Sent: Saturday, November 13, 2004 3:01 AM
Subject: adds to your understanding, hopefully providing acceptance
in the first ten days of my being hospitalized in the spring of 1976, because
of alcoholism, someone heard me say in the coffee alcove, "i do not like
coffee. i like to drink cold liquor." two or three days later, that
attentive person brought to the hospital, and gave to me, a small jar of
instant iced tea, expecting nothing in return. having been in the
business world for over twenty five years, i questioned their motives. in the
business world, if you scratch my back, i will scratch yours. and if i buy
your lunch in a business setting, i am going to control the topic of
discussion, for my agenda. so, the expecting nothing in return really got my
attention, even though i was still jittery and befogged.
that friend i have known longer than anyone else in sobriety. on the other
hand, they told me, about twenty years later, "the way you have treated
your children is a disgrace." there was a period of about fifteen years
that there was no contact with my children, at all.
now let me add some of my truth to their opinion concerning disgrace. "If
you want to be my follower you must love me more than your own father and
mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters--yes, more than your own life.
Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple." (Luke 14:26 TLB)
in fairness, it does not mention husbands, so guess that wives do not need to
learn how to be disciples. but that also might indicate that women are not
even entitled to learn how to be disciples, with the same interpretation. but
you need to ask god about that, not me.
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new: i did not understand, until a few years or so ago, that when we
have been approved as disciples, we are elevated to apostles, and are sent out
without any money, or even a change of clothing. remember being at a meeting,
at about seventeen years or so into abstinence, and someone came across the
room, to say something to me, even though it was not said in private. as he
approached, with me sitting there, with my feet up in an adjacent chair,
having had a hard days labor, for fifty dollars max, in torn and
frayed dirty work clothes, needing a hair cut, missing several
teeth, no car for transportation, living at a rooming home that i got kicked
out of, several times, because i did not have any money, he said, "i
do not want anything that you have." my reply was, "i don't
either."
dad
