10.19.07
oil holding at $90. stop. let's see who wins this war. stop.
let us just cut all
gasoline engines off.
stop. unless absolutely mandatorily positively imperative.
stop. including
all government vehicles,
federal, state, county, and city. stop. folks, this is not american
oil companies trying to hurt america. stop. wake up congress.
stop. don't you ever doubt that our oil companies love america.
stop. get in line. stop. i know why they are doing this.
stop. all of god's heavenly blessings and our prayers need to be
aimed at the vatican. stop. charge on america's glorious military,
and ALL
of their very godly coalition forces. stop. god is very proud
and grateful, for your courage. stop.
Am really
getting tired of all this bullshit. Two CTR hosts always have to go
back and clean up the media and press messes, each day, and God always
makes me go back and clean up the messes, that are made along the way, by
this dummy.
God suggested
that the last topic be called "global altar
call." Fuck
him. He too would be a tyrannical dictator if he did not allow all
of us free will.
One of my
dearest of friends always attended a dawn patrol group, too. Always
listened to DR. Gene, who was a tenured professor, at our local A. and
T. He used to say frequently, "People do not stop drinking
either because they do not know how, or they do not want to."
Over the
course of time however, that group progressed into not only not welcoming
alcoholics, they were made to feel that they were not even wanted in that
particular meeting, reminding yourselves that it is an A. A.
meeting. Forget what the tipping point was, but had another one of
my boiling over episodes. The next day, six in that group approached
me and asked me to leave, because they were afraid of me. Heard the
next day that the previous morning's meeting was opened with the preamble
of another fellowship.
Fucking
terrorists, suggesting that I was at fault. But assure you that I
have not, nor will I ever darken their door again.
Let's get
back to Dr. Gene's thought. What happens to people that are addicted
to alcohol, that don't stop drinking? The bigbook states that we
have a fatal malady. It also says that we are in the grips of a
progressive illness. Let us offer a quote found on page fourteen, in
the bigbook from one of the co-founders:
While I lay in the hospital the thought came that there were thousands of hopeless alcoholics who might be glad to have what had been so freely given me. Perhaps I could help some of them. They in turn might work with others.
My friend had emphasized the absolute necessity of demonstrating these principles in all my affairs. Particularly was it imperative to work with others as he had worked with me. Faith without works was dead, he said. And how appallingly true for the alcoholic! For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead. If he did not work, he would surely drink again, and if he drank, he would surely die. Then faith would be dead indeed. With us it is just like that.
We even
have on our web site the scripture that states, in red, that if anyone
drinks anything poisonous, it will not kill them. Federally funded
participation, in all treatment facilities have removed all of us alkies
from counselor slots, BECAUSE WE DO NOT HAVE DEGREES, IN HIGHER
EDUCATION.
The
counselor that worked with me told me that every time that I thought of
alcohol, that I had to think of it as MY scull and cross bones, ergo, my poison.
Don't have a clue about what God was thinking, when he told his son to say
that, but the medical community that worked with us for many decades had
seen untold tragedy upon tragedy, and that is why they came to the
conclusion that it was very clear to them that this group of people were
set apart as a separate entity.
And one
of my booger buddies that I frequently offer the floor to, at the end of my dissertation
of the day, for that meeting, is on the surface an atheist. He does
not mind taking the heat, God bless him. ALL of my dummy buddies
hate me for even giving him a chance to speak. But if the non
believes can get sober, and hear something that touches their heart, he is
there to defend them, until that happens.
Still
more messes to clean up, before we get to our topic, damn it.
About
wellness, ergo healing. In 85, with an out of state job, was in the
employ of a dear friend, and he put me under a newly graduated business
expert, focused on the bottom line only. Woke up one morning and had
to get in the tub, at three in the morning, trying to ease the pain.
By five a. m., was in the emergency room. Waited for the doctor
about two hours. Asked him what had caused what he revealed, and he
told me stress, or constipation. Told him that I had not been constipated.
But before that point, he asked me if there was anything that I would like
to tell him about any of my homosexual episodes. May be wrong, but I
think that doctors have to have a degree in higher education too.
The first
thing that I did, upon leaving the Hospital, was to bypass the drug store,
for the prescription that he had filled out for pain relief. The
next thing was got on the phone, and found my friend boss - out of state
at the time on another large project, and told him, "I am out of
here." He told me he would like to meet with me Monday morning,
if I would please stay around, until then.
Left that
meeting and drove home and stayed on the couch, for two weeks, and have
not been bothered by that homosexual problem again. Wonder if he was
a homosexual, since he judged me as a homosexual?
Some of
you all should probably leave the room, on this one. Or at least
close your ears. The bill at the emergency room was about two
hundred dollars, or less, back then. My point is, that it was paid
in cash. Do any of you cheap bastards not even have enough friends,
that can raise two hundred dollars, for your emergency room visit.
If you think that God will give you any blessings, you are not only
perfectly deceived, you are absolutely insane, just walking around,
"stuck on stupid."
On the
other hand, it would have been a perfect slap in the face to God, IF I
DID IN FACT HAVE HEALTH INSURANCE, since I believed in, "By his
strips, we were healed." Have not had health insurance, since
my perks dried up, when things went south, overnight. Have had to
learn how to depend on God.
Any y'all
ever played on a see saw, in the playground at school? Lets think
about Satan having the top seat, for the moment, and all of God's children
having the bottom position, here at the beginning of the millennium rule
of Christ, during the period of time when the Son of Man is born, our
Messiah.
God
desires for Satan to be put on earth, and crushed under His feet. So
Satan has got to be brought down to earth, and we have to arrive, in the
clouds, in heaven with God. It takes perfect praise, obedience,
being still and knowing that he is God, at times, not to forget love, and
now laughter it seems, and most importantly, anonymity, so that God's
Spirit, can come to the front of our being, not doing doo doo anymore.
This is
going to be one arduous balancing act, in each human being, for faith to
replace fear, love to replace hate, and being served converted to being
servants. How is that for an analogy? You might need a bomb
shelter, for the next one though.
This is
not an original thought, but with artist license, will definitely expound
on it's implications.
Let us
think about step four, the fearless and thorough moral inventory
deal. Now let us look at our back yard, understanding that we want
to keep our fake curb appeal intact - we all have to clean the inside of
the cup not the outside, and imagine that we would like to plant a garden,
back in the corner, along with the pool, or what ever else that we have,
in the way of recreation, or relaxation. And we know that some
guests, friends, are going to visit, and we really don't want them to see
all of that filthy garbage, over where we would like to plant that
garden. So, we have to do a clean up, and dispose of all of the
garbage, that is now beginning to get a real stench. The bigbook
calls it "cleaning house."
In time,
we do plant some good fruit. But over two thirds, or higher, does
not yield any crop what so ever. It is perfectly barren. And
we want a full crop, so we get some gardening tools - meditations and
spiritual principles - and start digging just under the surface, for more
garbage. Wow, there sure is a lot of shit under ground, just waiting
to be hauled off to the dump, and gotten rid of; admitting to God and
another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
When we
are still pissed, that we are not producing any good deeds, for good fruit
- because there is about thirty to forty percent of our garden that is
still barren, we know that we are going to have to dig deeper, much
deeper. Boy, are we really sweating with all of the spiritual
exercise. God really likes spiritual exercise, much more than
physical exercise. We lazy dummies really like it too.
Never
will forget one of our dear dummy friends coming to a meeting and stating
that she was in the middle of some spiritual aerobics that she did not
even know how to describe. But we all knew the pain that she was
dealing with, in her life.
Any y'all
like any of those scenic overlooks? Hell of a look on the trip -
journey - isn't it?
So, with
more courage mounting, desiring more peace of mind, and more joy in our
lives, knowing that we were a prey to misery, and could not control our
emotional nature, we grabbed the biggest damn shovel we could find.
The bible.
The
reason we do this is, the real old timers got our attention by simply
stating, "This is what we do." They were pointing to the
bigbook. God gives us a thought, for some of us, that the bible is
the key.
And
digging now, pretty far down, we discover the damn biggest boulder you
have ever seen, in your entire fucking life. Some had little teeny
tiny rocks to deal with, but not us real dummies. And the boulder
had to be blown to smithereens, with dynamite.
That is
the only thing that can bust up our human ego, or psyche, and that is a
really difficult time in our lives. But more praise is required, and
we are elevated on the see saw, one more notch, at the completion of that
process.
