the
good news is that god is love. and the not so good news is,
if you can read our topic title, you might be one of us. or even
worse, you probably are one of us; dummies. :-)
have
some very serious business, first. in recovery, we have to focus
on self-discipline, to be successful, one day at a time. but in
the world, we had to be disciplined, to be successful. there are
no ifs, ands, or buts about it. that is a requirement, no matter
how much pain, in the beginning. all new employees, for
some reason, are the whipping post, the gofer, the handyman, ad
infinitum. got the picture? it is not pleasant, to say the
least. we have to learn how to grin and bear it. my friend
paul says, "it is just mind over matter. i don't mind, and it
don't matter."
but now
to religious duties. let your conscience be your guide. but
always be obedient to his leading, what ever you perceive that to
be. don't listen to anybody else. was probably about forty
five years old, and the rector had a conversation with me one morning,
and invited me to attend an old folks home - widows, with other members
of the congregation. believe that there were some other options,
but am not sure. it was a rather lengthy conversation, and we got
into my service work, in the anonymous program of recovery, and he was
shocked. in an instant, he relieved me of any further claim on my
time, for the church. several years later, when the
"calling" was about to begin, full time, was at holy
communion, and some how, only heaven knows, when the wafer was being
offered, by the priest, it just absolutely vanished, into thin
air. we both felt like idiots, and looked around, but no
wafer. it was time for me to leave worship services.
the
bigbook states, "what an order, i can't go through with
it." we have no comment.
now,
let us give you what our new order of things is, from god's perspective,
here in america.
god
country
recovery
bible
calling
- carry your cross
Self -
not self
eternal
helpmate - male or female, but we do not need to address that order,
under god, hopefully. if you do not like that, find another path.
family
am no
where near qualified to address other countries, religions, nor
cultures. that is between you and god.
the
reason that family is so far down on the list is as follows. one
of the traditions, in the original anonymous format is: personal
recovery depends on a. a. unity. you may be the only one out of
two hundred that wants to recover, but fuck em. carry the message,
not your mess.
and the
worst thing for us family people is, IT DOES NOT SAY ONE DAMN THING
ABOUT OUR FAMILY UNITY. put them aside, for now. again,
there are no musts, but your choice, your decision. we offer no
alternatives.
before
we get into some of dummy's doo doo, let us address one other very
important issue. but heads up. you might need to get a real
drink for your nerves, because a soft drink or coffee ain't going to cut
it.
the
noahhite concept or principle about profanity - the absence of same
offends no one, is perfectly liberal, in god's domain, which he does not
like, but condones. and it seems that a few have been just thinking
about trying some comedy - humor, wondering if it would gain more
popularity, with "we the people," and therefore more
attendance, in some worship services, in some locales. any y'all
remember the scripture, "i know your every thought?"
folks,
god invented "fedx" MANY centuries ago. he has an
overnight one way ticket to a place that you do not want to spend the
rest of eternity in. and god's mercy let all of the israelites
experience death, because they were too afraid to go into the promised
land, and wanted to go back to egypt - limitation, not
geography.
but
here is the real deal of deals. again, with pride, privilege,
grace, truth, infinite love, announce that isaiah mentions the ancestry
of king david. he was one warring king, that killed in the tens of
thousands. he did some absolutely tacky things, with women.
he had one woman's husband killed in the front line of battle, so she
could become his queen. and god always forgave him, because king
david always wanted god's very own heart.
if you
need to take a break, we will still be here, lord willing.
during
my sixth year, had gotten through the mommy dearest stage, so she would
give me anything that i wanted, and even grew through the momma stage,
after she explained that we had to call her mother. so, moving
right along now, also, in the sixth year, we had to start taking piano
lessons. truly believe that is the only thing that i have ever
hated, with a passion, in my entire life.
my
brother can probably shed more light on this, than i, but at seven, they
say i was the hit at the recital, that i really do not even
remember. and it was in the college auditorium, no less. but
it was the same to me, like sitting in church, listening to the
twenty-third psalm, and wondering, "what in the world does this
have to do with me? that was such a long time ago."
just not engaged, emotionally.
but one
day, asked mother, why do we have to take piano lessons, and her reply
was, "so you will have culture." didn't take did it?
it has
come to my attention that there are many millions of souls, here in
america, wondering if i am going to drop the "n" word, since i
know how to use pejorative terms. as mentioned, my brother and i
grew up out in the sticks. our only playmates were generally very
poor white trash, and negros. my parents had black employees, all
the time. at times, we had more black folks, than whites, even
though it was seldom. one of my favorites was odell. and
dare not miss mentioning rosa lee. they were my friends. and
didn't even know what prejudice was, until i had done my inventory, and
there were certainly no blacks on the list.
growing
up, we were taught that the word meant not educated. and it did
not have any thing to do with race, in any way shape or form,
period. just never had any chance to use it. but as an
adult, there was a phrase that came along, that i have used a few times,
and indeed need to apologize, because i did not know what i was
saying. but even then, i was referring to my dumb self, not anyone
else, it was just my stupidity; afro engineering. and when i had concocted
some very dumb hair brain scheme, trying to fix something that i did not
know anything about, it was said. sorry about that.
would
certainly be less than a grain of sand, compared to condi, or our
supreme court judge, or general powell. hope you believe
that. as a matter of fact, have said many times that alan keyes is
the most truthful person that i have ever heard, bar none, and also think
that he is brilliant. but as with most human beings, have several
issues with him even.
but
now, it will be used, in a way that shocked our whole fucking jam packed
room of white guys and gals. we spewed coffee from our lips, gasped
for breath, fell out of chairs, and you name it.
any
y'all remember the name lynn? not only was he a muslim, he was a
black muslim. some of you know that there is no "cross
talk" allowed, in anonymous meetings. as it turns out, one of
our black brothers, sitting across the room from lynn had said something
that really got to lynn. don't have a clue today, but then, it was
one really big deal, to lynn. when the guy finished, lynn jumped
in with both feet, and started talking at him. the first word out
of his mouth was, "nigga...
god
said to close this one. had intentions to inform the public, about
some of my real doo doo, but it is not in the cards, at the
moment. sounds like a mini-series to me, which i used to
hate. maybe, with perfect grace - so that my really dumb
experiences will not have to be revealed, this is the end, and will be
moving on to some other tasks.
